ohclaudine's Diaryland Diary

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it's time to overflow you know

M: yeah... everyone has their way of dealing with grief... i dont like to show it around people I realize, now my mom knows. but you know.. in way it was sorta good cause it got me to cry.. that whole day I was a mess.. and after the wake too.. i had to be by myself
F: yeah... I couldn't hold it in
... everytime I looked at A. or hismom
it was unbearable for me.
M: I cried when J. and J. were kneeling by his coffin.. i couldnt hold it in anymore
F: i didn't see you crying
M: i was behind you
F: oh
M: like...in a way... i was crying because its an image I would never in my life want to see a good friend go through.... I just couldnt believe it
F: yeah
M: but yet.. like in a weird way it was so beautiful.. it may sound morbid.. but it was so fucking strange to see her like draped over this body..
M: sorry...
F: nono
F: I understand

12:23 a.m. - 2005-08-20

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