ohclaudine's Diaryland Diary

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I don't know what to do with myself now, at 1:45 I should have stayed at Jacqueline's house.
Her husband ended his life on saturday morning. I was in Philly. V drove me up, I've been over her house the whole weekend, stayed with her along with the others.
I'm not sure what to feel though... it's still not computing properly. I don't know..
Maybe at the wake tomorrow it will hit.
Death is something I'm not used to dealing with aside from natural age related deaths..
It's surreal
I'll delete this eventually. It's not something I want to remember. I realize I'm really a pro at desensitizing myself. Things will hit me weeks later. This blows... I wish I had someone to talk to right now.. sleep doesn't sound all too appealing... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

1:46 a.m. - 2005-08-15

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