ohclaudine's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- systematic emotional protection For the past two years, each relationship I've been in that year has ended around this time. The men I've been with tend to screw me over or the relationship just unravels completely. Being the cynic I am, I can only expect the worst to happen this time around with the man I've been involved with the past 8 months. What creates this anxiety is the fact that he will be expecting his daughter and the mother of his daughter to visit him in a few weeks. Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful he gets to spend time with his daughter. He needs it. It's the mother I'm worried about, luring him or seducing him or, or , or..... (He has no interest in pursuing the mother. Long story. ) But V is a smart man. If he is smart enough as I believe him to be then everything should be okay. And if he values our nebulous abstract expressionist (like a DeKooning)relationship as much as I do, then we should be okay. I'm certainly not the jealous type, or possesive. But protective yes. .... well maybe somewhere deep down I may be a tad possesive. But this characteristic is new to me only because I fell for him. I have yet to investigate what it all means. But I'm Miss go with the Flow, ya know... ya know? Whatever happends happends... words to live by. 5:41 p.m. - 2004-04-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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